The Second Grand Tour Part 3: The Way to Rumelia

"Kravice falls is a wonderful place for a morning swim" he stated, smugly

 

Three days after arriving in Makarska we packed up and headed south. We had indulged our seaside slothfulness quite enough and were itching to get back on the road. It didn't take long to reach The Federation of Bosnia and Herzegovina's border and the morning was steadily getting hotter. We crossed the Croatian checkpoint without any problems and then rode to the Bosnian side. They checked our passports and everything seemed to be going fine until we were asked to show our green cards.

Now for those who don't know The Federation of Bosnia and Herzegovina isn't part of the EU yet. We had gotten very used to crossing borders in the Schengen Area as just being roadsigns, even in the newest union countries all it would take is a flash of the passport. Now we required Vehicle insurance as proof of ownership. I couldn't help but feel a little worried at this point about the UK's future post-brexit (which at the time of writing, we still don't have the faintest idea how this monumental balls-up will go for us). Thankfully this wasn't too much of a problem. There was a small, ordinary looking house between the boarders that the guards said we should go and visit. This was all a little strange but we didn't have anything to lose at this point. Inside we found an old Croatian lady who seemed to know exactly why we were there. She asked for our documents, then filled out and sold us a sheet of paper. This was enough for the boarder guards and after the €5 fee we were on our way to our first destination. The road conditions aren't great in the federation but then again it is only a recently stabilised country, without the luxury of the EU's money to help build its infrastructure. A small and winding countryside road eventually led to where we were heading. Kravice is a little known gem in the Balkans, a huge waterfall flowing into a calm and protected river that is perfect for swimming and picnicking. It was really bloody hot and we had to carry our gear down to the falls from where it felt safe to park the bike so a swim was most appreciated.

Us. After the blistering heat the cool water was a 'warm' welcome

Feeling refreshed, we rode across across the Herzegovinan lowlands for about half an hour before we started the almost ridiculous decent on the western road into Mostar. The heat, combined with the steep roads and sudden turns meant a lot of stress on our brakes, which screamed as we pressed them all the way down. Mostar's outer suburbs were filled with traffic. It was hot and long and all the roads we wanted were closed.

But the reward at Mostar's heart was well worth the difficulties.

Stari Most, at the heart of Mostar's old town

If there is one place in Europe that I have to suggest you visit it is Mostar, a truly Balkan town in every sense. Holding to it's Ottoman influences, mixed with Yugoslavic hotels and Habsburg government buildings, it is a microcosm of a thousand years of history all rolled into a beautiful stone core. There are Bazaar styled street markets selling Turkish carpets, riverside coffeeshops selling tar black coffee (our favourite type!) and bars, museums and galleries littering the small maze-like streets. It was our favourite place on the trip.

Mostar. 'Don't Forget, but Do Forgive. Forever.'

 The troubled recent history of the city is still prevalent today. There is an unofficial divide across the river between Croatian catholics on the west and Bosniak Muslims on the east, an echo of the devastating Jugoslav wars that ended up destroying the old bridge over the years of bloody conflict that ensued. It is a complicated conflict and I urge you to look it up to gain an understanding of this incredible region of the World. We also have to recommend staying at Hostel Musala as it is centrally located, quiet and private, and the host Sasha was both kind and informative. Also I feel that I have to explain a strange local oddity: There are a group of men who hang around on the bridge waiting for enough tourists to come. One of them goes around collecting money in a hat, and another will get into a wetsuit and stretch. When they have enough money, the man in the wetsuit will climb over the edge and jump from the top of the 24m bridge into the river below. They apparently can make up to £150 a day doing this.

A lightly cooked Sausage with a dash of drinkable monastery water

The next day was going to be a long ride back to Dalmatia, then up Croatia to the Plitvička Jezera National Park, but we weren't done with Bosnia yet. We set off early and headed for an old Durvish monastery in the town of Blagaj. This monastery is built into the cliff at the base of a river source. We arrived early so the place was nearly empty and it really is an amazing sight to behold. Sasha informed us that because the river source is so close, the water is delicious and safe to drink (something we bravely tried and can confirm!).

Počitelj, a small medievil town with literally nothing stopping you climbing sketchy half destroyed towers.

From here we followed a much easier main road following the Neretva river to a town called Počitelj. This town, literally forgotten by history, is much like it was during the Ottoman Empire. It was pretty stunning and the crumbling towers are climbable right to the top which gives you a view of the entire valley.

Sadly that was in for Bosnia, we had one final Bosnian coffee and crossed the boarder back into Croatia. The rest of the day was a long and arduous slog up the motorway to Plitvička Jezera. it took about five hours for us to get there and by the end of it we were pretty sore. The next day we explored the park.

Plitvička Jezera, Plitvička Jezera, The Wife, Plitvička Jezera

It took the whole day. Walking around the parks, on old boardwalk planks, through dripping caves and over deep valleys. The day was spent laughing about the future, enjoying the present and generally thinking on how the trip has been. I recommend spending a day here as it is pretty incredible (Although sadly you can't swim in these waterfalls! BiH 1 - Croatia 0 ).

The day after that was another long and difficult ride. This time 320 miles across the Slavonia region of Croatia and into the Serbian region of Vojvodina. Croatia's roads were in great condition for riding, but five and a half hours in the saddle was killer on both of our legs. The Serbian boarder was easier, but in hindsight that seems like a false sense of security as the roads were just awful. Honestly it was like the wild west. There were lorries on fire in the road, pot-holes the size of lanes, and a military convoy that clogged up the pay tolls. At one stage we were stuck in a line of 10mph traffic when a dump truck, tired of being a dump truck, decided it was instead a drag racer  and darted into the other lane, attempting to overtake everyone around a blind corner nearly killing literally everyone.

I have made Novi Sad look beautiful, it was not.

I will summarise the last part of our trip as it didn't have the same impact as the rest. But after a really bloody long drive he were in Novi Sad, another slight disappointment, the layout was not too different from Debrecen with bad conditioned tower blocks and endless 4 lane roads. There was a small centre street where we had a nice burger, but the highlight was our '5 star' hotel at a massively discounted price. 5 stars was a little stretch of the imagination but apparently Tito loved this Hotel so we would to. Plus there was a Sauna which saved our lives. The next day we rode into Hungary again for the final leg. The Hungarian Border guards were surprised to see English plates riding north from Serbia, and were even more surprised when they heard the journey we have done so far. In fact everywhere we went we garnered attention for our plates. British vehicles are not common this far into Europe it seems!

The Hungarian roads were awful, the drivers were dangerous and it took hours. But through the literal tears we persevered until we saw the towers of the Nagy Templom over the long, flat horizon. We got home exhausted and before unpacking got straight into our PJ's. Another Grand Tour in the bag. Another adventure to remember fondly. And only four days before we returned to the UK for a week of chaos (which starts tomorrow!).

I shall keep you all posted, that is if anyone is still interested.

Thank you for reading, bro.

Puffer.

Our Pre-Wedding Trip to Prague.

Sitting in a London flat with the windows open is one of my 'very English' little delights.

Like having Barbecues on people's roofs, it represents the warm breeze of spring replacing the sharp snap of winter. It conjures images of experienced ocean men gliding across the Thames after an age at sea. You can hear the sirens of the metropolitan police service, singing their crescendo in the distance, probably on the way to save the good people of London from peril, more likely on their way to profile innocent people based on their differences.

Oh London, how you will be missed.

In contrast to the wonderfully warm weather we are now experiencing in the big smoke, Prague was somewhat colder than we could have anticipated, but nevertheless more beautiful than we could have imagined.

Instax photos are a great way to show that you have been places and found novelty pissing statues.

Now although if one can one shouldn't need a reason to travel to the city of a hundred spires, we did have a reason. Glorious bureaucracy. Paperwork is the basis of all civilisation and however much we would like to romanticise the great achievements of Men and Women, without stacks of dotted lines and scribbled signatures it would all have been for nought.

After Vanda and I decided on Prague as our preferred city for the wedding, I got in contact with a very old friend from my school days, who just so happened to have lived in the ancient Bohemian capital at one point AND got married there himself. He was unbelievably helpful with explaining how the process went for him and what to expect. Social media, in ways that might seem obvious to some, has a way of painting people's lives in bright colours, illuminating the desirable aspects and masking the hard or delicate realities of life. So even though Prague still holds all the romance and intrigue a city of such rich history, it was always going to require work.

I am not entirely sure how other countries operate their marriage laws and am well aware that we have the advantage of both being EU citizens (for now at least), but I will give you a quick run through of what was required:

This friend who had lived in Prague, gave us the details of a Czech wedding coordinator, named Ladka, who specialises in organising English language weddings in the Czech Republic. After contacting Ladka and confirming the personal details and finances that would entail, we had to collect a number of documents for the Czech authorities. The most important of which was both of our Birth Certificates and Certificates of No Impediment. The first is obvious I suppose, after all Czechia would hardly be expected to find the details of a British and Hungarian citizen that don't live in the country and they obviously need to make sure that they aren't signing off on a sham wedding for any reasons beyond their borders. A Certificate of No Impediment however is a little more confusing; it is a statement of declaration from your government confirming that you are not in fact already married.

Various Kafkaesque imagery to set the tone of the next paragraph.

So here is where the fun begins: For Vanda to get said document, she had to collect it from Hungary, as from this year, no embassy can issue the document on the governments behalf. This was a large part of the reason we were in Hungary last month. For me, it was a little bit trickier. The British Government, this time played by my local registry office, needed a months notice to produce the document for me, OK fine you understand this surely? and a month isn't too much of a pain. BUT the British document expires three months from the date of issue. So the earliest I could have had this document was February 11th, I was in Hungary for February so decided to order it on the 1st February to pick it up on the 2nd March when I was back in London. But two problems that I was previously unaware of arose:

1.) British Documents require what is known as an Apostille Stamp for documents to be legal outside the UK, this requires the document to be sent to the UK and Commonwealth legislation office for the stamp. This can take anywhere up to ten days before they even send it back to you.

2.) The document had to be in the hands of the Czech authorities on an office working day at least one month before the wedding, in this case 8th March.

As you might have deduced, this posed a problem. So after a mild panic about whether the wedding can even happen, I found out that companies that are registered in the UK can do a same day Apostille stamp service. If you Google Apostille stamp, you will find a lot of different companies and law firms who will stamp your documents for you with this service for a price of around £170*. I decided to use Edward Young Notary Public London (www.notarypublicinlondon.com) and highly recommend their services. In the end, by no small miracle, the day after we returned to London I managed to collect the document, get it stamped and have it in hand by 1:30pm. After all of this we were hardly going to trust our documents to a courier service, so decided there was nothing for it but to travel to Prague and deliver the documents ourselves.

Vanda doing Prague things, including the gentle rubbing of a Bishop.

We saw the wedding venue (it is going to be pretty special, will explain in another post), sampled the local food and of course beer, explored the hills and endless streets and squares with their Gothic towers and Baroque facades, and last but certainly not least, had the famous Trdelník. Now I will probably go on about this surgery explosion to the senses in other posts under another name, Kürtőskalács,  as they are in fact Hungarian in origin and I am well versed in their digestion. However the Czechs have decided to stuff them with ice cream and Nutella...So I just had to give it a bash. FYI It is delicious and will make you feel like Adam after biting that apple that one time.

I borrowed a Trdlník picture from imgur but the melting Hot Chocolate is definitely us, to my shame.

 
All in all the trip was fantastic. It was 0 °C and it rained in the evenings so it was hard to spend too much time outside, and I would suggest having a plan for the day before you leave your hotel as there are many tourist traps throughout the city, but if you are keen on exploring a place without maps, we managed to find a couple of amazing cafes off the beaten track. Finally the Kafka Museum is a must for any fans, as it is genuinely one of the best curated Museums we have ever visited and really brings the feeling of his writing to life.

Prague Prague Prague

Maybe Kafka put it best when he said 'Prague never lets you go… this dear little mother has sharp claws' and although one shouldn't need a reason, we certainly have one to come back!

If you are interested in a Prague wedding, you can find Ladka and her company here: www.weddinginprague.eu She really is great!

Puffer